Karuna's Evaluation

Argumentative Research Essay Evaluation Points

1.
A. Drinking Age
B. It should stay at 21
C. Uses a great deal of statistics regarding how popular alcohol is.
D. State clearer why it is wrong and link it to why it should stay as is if not stricter.

2. Kids drink because of peer pressure and curiosity.

3. Doesn't seem to have.

4.
A. Doesn't really say specifically.
B. Strongest point is how she demonstrates why kids do it.
C. No weak points.
D. The argument order is fine.
E. Another strong point would be kids abuse alcohol when they're depressed.
F. Say that kids aren't as responsible as they think they are. Demonstrate how by discussing how many accidents happen as a result of this.

5. Thesis is good as is.

6. Choose two full sentences you think would benefit from revision. Copy and paste them, then rewrite them in a way you feel is clearer, less awkward, and more effective.

As said before, alcohol is the drug chosen by many adolescence, statistics show that from 8th grade to 12th grade, the adolescence picked alcohol over cigarettes and marijuana.

Adolescents is misspelled. Adolescence is a noun for the period. When using it as a kid it's spelled adolescent. Also it seems like a run-on sentence. Cut it off at adolescents and start a new sentence at statistics.

7.
The word adolescents seems overused in the essay. Vary it with teenagers or kids. In addition the paper seems more like a research paper than an argumentative. The facts are good but need to say more of why exactly is it bad. Show death rates because of drinking and hospitalization.